Door Industry Journal - Winter 2014

Also online at: www.dijonline.co.uk take a break 95 THE door industry journal winter 2014 KEEPING IT IN THE FAMILY Chances are, we all know someone who runs a family business, but some really do take it too far! When asked to comment on the quality of this particular employees workmanship, we were told it really was “the mutts nuts!!” HOW’S YOUR DAY GOING? There I was, sitting at the bar, staring at my drink, when a large trouble-making biker steps up next to me, grabs my drink and gulps it down in one swig. "Well, whatcha' gonna do about it?" he says, menacingly, as I burst into tears. "Come on, man," the biker says, "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can`t stand to see a man crying." "This is the worst day of my life," I say. "I'm a complete failure. I was late for a meeting so my boss fired me. When I went to the car park, I found my car had been stolen and my insurance had expired. I left my wallet in the taxi I took home where I found my wife with another man and then my dog bit me." "So I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I buy a drink, drop a pill in and while sitting here waiting for the poison to dissolve; you show up and drink the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?" LITTLE JOHNNY AND THE BIRDS AND THE BEES Little Johnny's father asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. "I don't want to know!" Little Johnny says, bursting into tears. Confused, his father asks what's wrong. "Oh, Dad," Little Johnny sobs, "first, there was no Santa Claus, then no Easter Bunny, and finally, no Tooth Fairy. If you're about to tell me that grownups don't really have sex, I've got nothing left to believe in." PETS HAVING THE BEST DAY EVER!